I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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