shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
