you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
