Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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