my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
