Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
