Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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