Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
