I'm going to jail i love you
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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