apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
