Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
