Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
