He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
