I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
