Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
