bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
