In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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