was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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