that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
