the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
