Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
