Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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