Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
