I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
high people should be assigned attendants
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
