M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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