David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
