just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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