How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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