she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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