even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
