I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
