i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
