she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
