sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
