Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
