I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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