she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
