My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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