frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
