Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
