Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
