Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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