my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
