Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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