Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
