She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
