Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
