Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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