Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
