the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Houston, we have a squirter
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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